Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize