so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
