dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
