I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
