Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
