Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
