Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
