I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
