If i come over, it means nothing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Vodka?
Forever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
