why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
