how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
