Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
