So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
