is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
