I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
