doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
two words: eviction party
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
