We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
