Who did Billy Mays play for?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
