Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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