I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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