I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
