he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
