Need sex. Gaining weight.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my sisters under your porch take her home
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
