She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
