so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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