Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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