Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
