two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
