The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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