Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
two words...techno handjob
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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