First date: that requires underwear, huh?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
