ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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