The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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