I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
