Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize