So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
