Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
