Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
