I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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