and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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