i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
