She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
