i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
