I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
