How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
