I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
