And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He felt like a one man threesome
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
