Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
