I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
