covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
