Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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