Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize