god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
