i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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