Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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