I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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