Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
