During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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