so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
