I wish I could teleport
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
